Those damn carbs

As a joke last week I said that I would give up carbs for lent.  After thinking about it, I decided to go ahead and do it.  I didn't start until this past Monday.  Sunday we had family birthdays and my dad made lasagna.  I couldn't miss eating that one last time (at least for the next 40 days).  Today is Friday and I've lost 6lbs so far.  It pisses me off.

I'm glad that I've lost the weight.  It's pleasing to see the scale go down.  I actually just put on some jeans that I hadn't worn in a while and they fit great. I could get them zipped before, but that 6lbs have made them feel good, not like they're squeezing my middle.  BUT, I've been working out almost every day for the last two months.  I've been eating healthy foods and not eating as much.  The scale never budged.  I built some muscle mass and thinned my legs and arms a little bit, but not so that anyone else could see.  I could just feel it in my clothes and see the muscles when I flexed.  I really didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything, though.  

This past week, the only thing I changed was the carbs.  And I've lost 6lbs!!  It makes me angry because I could've been doing this since January.  It sucks.  It also sucks that not eating carbs makes me lose weight, because I love carbs.  Pasta, bread, potatoes, chips, tortillas, you name it, I love it.  I had a talk with myself the other day and basically was trying to tell myself that it's just food.  FOOD.  The bread and pasta and crap like that are not something I need to have, they're just foods that I enjoy.  It won't kill me to go without them.  And when I can avoid them and am able to turn them away, I actually feel good about it.  

I've eaten pretty good this week too.  Even without my usual starch to go with dinner.  I'll have eggs for breakfast. I may get tired of them, so I need to find something else to eat for breakfast.  For lunch I have a salad with chicken or tuna.  I've been snacking on celery with peanut butter (not too much) or cucumber with just some salt and pepper on it.  Dinner has been chicken and vegetables this week.  I did make the cauliflower "pizza" crust.  It was actually pretty good.  I don't want to treat this like some people treated the Atkins diet.  It's not free reign to eat bacon and cheese all the time.  While those things don't have carbs, they aren't very healthy to have all the time.  

I want to eat this way forever.  I don't mean that I'll never eat pasta again, but I don't want to go back to having stuff like that with every meal.  We literally had bread or potatoes or rice or pasta with every dinner.  Plus I was eating cereal for breakfast and sandwiches or something similar for lunch.  Bad carbs with every meal.  Not anymore.  It's obviously not the way my body wants me to eat.  I need to get over my love of pasta and just have it every once in a while, not every day.

New goal

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written on my blog.  I've been disappointed with my progress, but I've come to realize that maybe I had too high expectations.  I felt the need to lose all the weight I wanted to lose by March 1st.  That was my goal because I wanted to go and try on my bridesmaid dress at that time.  I've realized that's probably silly.   I can still get the bridesmaid dress and continue working on losing weight.  Once I do lose the weight I want to lose, I can get the dress altered.  I've given myself a new goal date of May 1st.  Two months before the wedding should be enough time to get the dress altered.  I don't want to say "if", because I am determined to get to my goal.  

I still don't feel like I've lost much weight.  I don't really see it too much in the mirror.  I have noticed it in my clothes though.  In weird places too.  Like my legs.  I had to dress up a couple of weeks ago and I wore boots with my dress.  The boots used to be pretty tight on my calves, but that time they were easy to pull on and there is some space in there.  I could actually feel the boots slipping down when I walked.  Crazy.  I've noticed in my arms too.  I can see my biceps pretty well, especially when I flex and sleeves fit better on my arms.  I can't tell as much in my stomach.  Some of my pants fit better around the middle, but I haven't gone down a size.  That's when I'll be super excited.  When I can buy a smaller size pant.  

I started the second month of Insanity.  It's pretty intense, but still doable.  I think this month is when I'll really notice the difference.  I've still been walking during lunch at work, so hopefully doing both will really help me get closer to my goal.  I feel like maybe I should add some weight lifting though.  I have no idea when.  I don't want to do too much working out, because that can work against you.  I have a Jillian Michaels video I could do and just alternate the days with Insanity.  Cardio and weights are supposed to do better towards leaning you up than just cardio.  

I've been doing much better with food.  My body now likes to tell me not to eat bad.  And I mean that if I eat healthy for a while and then have a day where I eat bad, I pay for it the next day.  I will feel like crap.  So that is motivation to continue to eat healthy.  

The muscles aren't keeping up

Today I was doing my Insanity work out and I realized that my lungs are stronger than my legs.  I was doing these squats and knee lifts and whatever else Shawn T tries to kill you with and I wasn't out of breath, but my muscles were protesting.  If I stopped for about 5 seconds I could keep going, but it sucks.  I'm trying to push myself, but my muscles don't seem to want me too.  I don't want to push too hard and hurt myself either, so I'm not pushing as hard as I want.  I've also realized that I am getting through more of the work out though.  I mean without taking such long breaks.  I can tell by my pedometer mostly.  When I first started wearing it I was getting about 2000-2500 steps with each workout.  Now I'm getting closer to 3000+.  That's a pretty good improvement, I think.  Today I had over 8000 steps total.  We went a little further with our walk at lunch.  It was about 20 minutes and I actually broke a sweat.  I don't think I should be able to break a sweat outside in January, but it is Georgia and the weather doesn't care what month it is here.
Next week Matt will be home all week, but it is the recovery week in Insanity, so maybe it won't matter as much if I don't get that work out in every day.  I'd still like too, but he doesn't always want to leave the room for me to work out.  I love my husband, but it's just weird for him to sit there and watch me work out.  I wouldn't mind if was joining in though.  He keeps saying that he wants to start working out, so maybe I can talk him into it next week.  After that though, the videos get a little bit more intense.  And I can't wait.  I'm ready to start burning some real fat!

The hubby slows me down

My husband wasn't traveling as much this week, and a result of that was less healthy dinners and less working out. Well, not actually less, I just didn't do it in the order I was supposed.  I should have worked out every day and taken Saturday off.  Instead I took Friday off and worked out Saturday.  It was probably a good thing that i worked out Saturday.  I went out to eat with my friends to Chinese food and had some delicious chicken fried rice.  It was my cheat day, so I'm OK with that.
Matt goes back out of town tomorrow and I'm back on the healthy dinners.  The problem is that he really doesn't like chicken and would rather have red meat.  Mostly in the form of ground beef tacos.  I think I'm just going to have to tell him to deal with it and serve chicken the way I've been eating it.  This needs to become the way we eat for the rest of our lives, not just for as long as it takes me to lose weight.
I'm still feeling good though and loving the work outs.  This past week I walked two days with some co-workers.  I think I'm going to try and do that every day.  It's not really strenuous, we only walk for about 15 minutes.  I think that by adding that in, it will help me get to my 7,000 steps a day for my work points and it will be a little extra exercise and calorie burning.  Since I'm behind a desk 8 to 9 hours a day the walk definitely helps.
I've got one more week on the first month of Insanity.  Once that's over I have a recovery week and then the really intense work outs start.  It goes from a 40 minute video to 55 minutes.  At first I was a little nervous about whether I could do that long, but then I realized it's only 15 minutes longer.   I feel like I should watch one of them just to prepare myself for what it's like.  I don't know if it's just 15 minutes more of the same kind of exercising or if it's actually a more vigorous work out.  I think that one I'm done with that month I'll switch back and forth between the first months videos and the second.  Or maybe just do the second months videos three or four times a week.  We'll see how it goes.

Day 15 Pictures

When I started this I took pictures on the first and decided that I would take pictures every two weeks to track my progress.  I don't really feel any thinner and I don't know how much weight I've lost (I quit weighing myself). I took pictures this morning though and have them on my computer.  I was comparing them to the first pictures and I can actually see a difference.  It's not a major one, but I can see it most in my arms and legs.  I can see a little difference in the side view of my stomach, but not really the front view.  I'm happy that I can see something changing though.  It's motivation to keep going, because in another two weeks, I should see an even bigger difference.
Yesterday was my off day in exercise.  I almost did a workout, but I figured they probably allow you an off day for a reason.  I also used it as my cheat day for food.  Today I'm back on it though and am eating healthy and the way I should.   When our work had that nutritionist come in, he said that people are more likely to eat healthy most of the time if they allow themselves to indulge every once in awhile.  He said you should eat healthy 90% of the time and allow yourself one cheat every week.  That doesn't mean you should stuff your face.  Just that you could eat those tacos for dinner or fettucini alfredo (my favorite) and still be OK as long as you are eating good the rest of the time.  Plus you are less likely to binge if you allow yourself a treat every now and then.
I'm looking forward to the next two weeks and seeing what change will be in my next set of pictures.  Next weekend I have a girls night and we are going to the Iron Wok.  They have some of the best fried rice.  You can bet that will be my cheat day and I plan on completely enjoying it.

Dang birthdays

Today we celebrated a woman's birthday at work.  So, of course, we order pizza (stuffed crust) and someone brought in Red Velvet Cupcakes.  And I ate both.  I guess, technically, I didn't have to eat either of those things.  But the woman was turning 70.  70 years old people and she is still working.  It would have been rude to ignore her birthday just because I want to be skinny, right?  Oh well.  I ate it and I enjoyed it.  To make up for it I had a smoothie for dinner.  My smoothie was made up of a banana, 1/2 cup skim milk, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder and ice.  I think I calculated that to come to 230 calories.  I'm actually hungry right now, but I feel like it's too late to eat when it's after 7:00.
I also worked out.  It was recovery day so it wasn't too strenuous, but I did still exercise.  Actually I feel like I should have done more.  This Insanity is addicting.  I'm thinking about this weekend and how to get exercise in.  Saturday is technically supposed to be an off day, but I'm thinking to myself, would it really be bad to do a video that day?  I have never in my life wanted to work out seven days a week.  I feel like a crazy person.  Who wants to work out every single day?  This girl.  That's right.  I'm lovin it.
This Sunday I'm taking a new picture, to try and see progress along the way.  I don't really feel like I've changed my size that much.  I can see new muscle, but it's still covered up with fat.  I've read, though, that it takes four weeks to see a change in your body, so maybe in another two weeks, I'll really see some results of what I've been doing.  Starting next month the Insanity videos get a bit more intense and are about 15 minutes longer.  That may kick the weight loss into high gear.  Only time will tell though.

Pedometer lies

I received my pedometer in the mail today.  If you read my previous post, you will know that this pedometer is something the company I work for is providing.  It keeps track of our steps throughout the day and we download it to a website where we can earn points.  I put my pedometer on as soon as I opened to see how active I am at home.  Looking at it right now, it says 3001 steps.  That is since 5:00 and it's now 8:00.  I think that I might be able to hit the required 7000 a day.  Although I heard someone earlier say it over counts your steps. So it lies a little bit, but in my favor.  I'm OK with that.
To be fair I did do Insanity wearing the pedometer.  Honestly I'm a little disappointed.  I thought with all the running and jumping it'd be a little higher.  Insanity is still making me sweat. Actually I think the sweating is getting worse.  But I feel like I'm actually doing something.  It feels good to me to be exhausted when I'm done with my work out.
I've realized that working out at night seems to be the better option for me.  Early last year I was getting up at 5:00AM to work out and it was tough.  I would do it maybe three times a week.  With this I am working out five times a week.  I don't think I have ever worked out that much before.  If I don't see results by the end of January, I'm gonna be pissed.
Food has gone better the past two days.  I went grocery shopping on Sunday and bought chicken and some turkey sausage.  I bought the Perdue chicken that comes with five chicken breasts individually wrapped.  I bought two bags (Kroger had a sale for $5.99) and stuck them in the freezer.  That way I can take out one piece of chicken to thaw in the morning and have it for dinner that night, without wasting a whole package of chicken.  I also bought some vegetables for dinner and some to snack on.  I'm going for convenience and found these packages of baby carrots that are separated into serving size bags.  They have apples like that too (pre-cut and rinsed with something that keeps them from browning).   If I have snacks ready to go and in a size that I can just grab, then I'm more likely to make the better choice.  I'm trying to lose weight and be healthy, but I'm still a little lazy.
I'm going to keep this up.  I've heard that having a specific goal helps in the weight loss, but I don't have one.  I want to be healthier and skinnier, but I don't know what size or weight.  I don't know what I'll look like at  any particular size or weight.  My body is different than it was when I was 20, so I don't think that it will look the same if I get back to a size 6.  I hope that I'll know I've reached my goal when I'm happy with what I see in the mirror.

Insanity hurts

Today I did my work out and finally completed an entire video.  Since I've started I've managed to get through 30 minutes of it, but can't seem to get through the last 10 minutes.  Today, I finally did it. I did have to take breaks throughout the video (again, I don't feel so bad because so do the incredibly fit people in the video), but I made it through to the end.  My knees hurt and my ankle hurts, but I always feel better after a work out, even if I'm in pain.  I'm proud of myself and can tell that I'm improving.  My stamina anyway.
I got on the scale this morning and had gained one pound.  I know that one pound could be just water weight.  I'm actually telling myself that I gained muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. It's still a bummer though to get on that scale and see the number go up instead of down.  So I've decided not to do that anymore.
I have decided not to measure my success by how much I weigh.  I've seen a picture of girl who gained 10lbs and looked thinner because she gained 10lbs of muscle.  As tempting as it is to get on the scale and see  it going down, it is too much of a let down if it doesn't.  So, from now on, I want to measure my success by how feel, look, and how my clothes fit.  If my clothes are looser than I will know that I am heading in the right direction.
That being said, I did not eat the way I should have this week.  For most of the day I would.  I'd eat a bowl of healthy cereal for breakfast and then apples or Greek yogurt for snack and a Lean Cuisine for lunch. Then we would have tacos and chips with cheese dip for dinner.  This coming week and following weeks, it's going to get real though.  Matt is going to be traveling for a long while, so during the week I'm going to be eating a lot of grilled chicken.  Salads, vegetables, and all sorts of healthy stuff.  One small problem I have with Matt home is that he does not really like chicken.  He would rather have beef.  But now he'll be gone and I'm going to eat good.  When he does come home, well, he's just going to have to suffer through some chicken for a few nights until he leaves again.  I wish that I could do fish as well, but I live in middle Georgia.  There isn't exactly fresh fish in the supermarkets here.  I'm going to have to explore other options though, because I know I'll get sick of chicken too.
Exercise wise, I have done great.  Since Sunday I have worked out everyday except yesterday.  Today should have been my off day, but I took yesterday.  Tomorrow I won't be doing a video, but Matt and I are taking the kids to Tallulah Gorge and hiking to the falls.  It's about a mile to a mile and half walk, so we should get a couple miles in tomorrow.
I'm really going to work harder on the eating next week.  Since the exercise is coming so easily, I really hope that I can put more of my will towards eating the right food.

My Other Motivation...Money

In my first post I talked about what my motivation is for losing weight and getting in shape.  I completely forgot about a major motivation this year and that is money.  Why would I get money for getting in shape?  Let me explain.
I work at an orthopedic clinic.  Most doctors are health conscious and usually eat right and work out.  The doctors I work for are no different.  Except that they also want their employees to eat right and work out.  It's as if they care.  They started out by paying for the entire office to have a gym membership at the Omni in Athens.  The membership was optional, of course, but who wouldn't take them up on that?  Some people, I'm sure, did take them up on it and then never went to the gym.  Last year they paid for Corey Little (a nutritionist, also mentioned in my first post) to come in and try and help us change the way we eat.  I think that it did help some people, but I was not one of them.  This year they are trying something different.  Every employee has what is called an HSA or Health Savings Account.  Our company puts a certain amount of money in it each year, and we can use it to pay for medical related things, like doctor visits and prescriptions. This year they have decided that they don't want to just give it to us, they want us to work for it.  By becoming healthier and living better.  At the start of the year, they put about a third of what we normally receive in the account.  In order to earn more, we will have to meet certain goals.
No one has specific goals that they have to meet.  They didn't say, you need to lose 10lbs to get to the next level.  We are in a program called Virgin Health Miles. This program has a points system.  Everyone will receive a pedometer, that we can download directly to this website.  It will keep track of how many steps we take each day and can earn points that way.  We can also enter when we exercise and earn points that way.  We will also earn points by having our blood pressure, weight and body fat measured.  Every time they improve, points are earned.  So many points gets you to the next level and more money in your HSA.
I'm hoping that having all of these different motivations for getting healthier and in shape will really push me to work hard for it.  I have worked out four days this week and plan on working out tomorrow as well.  I did eat much better today.  Tomorrow I'm starting my millionth try at giving up coke and caffeine.  I have a headache just thinking about it, but it has to be done.  I'm trying to imagine what it will be like to post before and after pictures and be truly proud of the after pictures.  My friend Jenny is also on a mission to get in better shape, so maybe a reward for us can be a trip to the beach where we lay around in bikinis all day, once we meet our goals.  I'm looking forward to that day!

Day 2...

Yesterday was the start of the new year.  I did manage to work out and I ate OK.  Not great, but not that bad either.  Today for breakfast I had a Greek yogurt and then ate horrible for lunch because I was starving.  Taquitos and cheese dip.  Now I feel bad for eating it.  I'm  not going to beat myself up, but I need to learn not to do that.  I do plan on working out this afternoon and have a healthy dinner planned, so hopefully that will even things out.
I love before and after photos and stories like these.  To me they are really inspiring and motivational.  Plus, I look at these people who have lost over 100lbs and I think, "If they can do that, I should be able to lose 20-30lbs".  They've worked so hard and stayed with it, for a much longer period of time than I'm going to need.  Some of them took over a year to lose the weight, but they stuck with it and continue to keep it off.  That is incredible to me.  I've seen a few people on facebook recently talking about certain diets and I've seen commercials for pills that will take the weight off and that is not the route that I want to take.  I want to do this the right way and make a complete lifestyle change. Something that I will stick with and maintain for the rest of my life.  I don't want to do another fad diet (like Atkins) that may take the weight off quickly, but the food plan is really impossible to stick with for the rest of your life. And I don't want to take pills either. I've done that as well.  One pill I did take earlier this year, helped me lose some weight, but it had more caffeine than a pot of coffee.  I had heart palpitations when I took it.  I'd rather not die of a heart attack, just to lose some weight.

Me with Thomas

Me with Morgan

This is going to be a hard change with food.  Surprisingly, exercise is coming easy and I actually look forward to it.  But food is an addiction for me.  I think about food all the time, which is silly.  I think about what I'm going to eat for breakfast when I wake up, what I'm going to eat for lunch when I'm done with breakfast and what I'm going to make for dinner once lunch is over.  It's ridiculous. Sometimes I really want to eat healthy, and I know that I'll feel better if I do, but I still go for the bad food.  Like I'm going to miss something if I don't have it.  And then I feel like a fatass afterward for eating it.  It's really a terrible cycle that needs to stop.  I have to start planning ahead and being prepared for breakfast and lunch.  And I need to eat what I've got instead of going out and choosing something bad.
I'm going to be searching for easy and healthy recipes and I will share them on here.  The good ones anyway. I'll try steer you away from anything that is gross or terrible.  My hardest thing will be avoiding cheese and sweets.  If I didn't want those two things all the time, I'd probably be tiny.  My friend, Jen, doesn't even like cheese. I've told her she's a freak of nature and I'm not sure I could actually be friends with someone who doesn't like cheese.  Honestly, I'm a little jealous.  It would be nice to not even want it.  I'm a picky eater, but it seems to be healthy foods I don't like, like onions or tomatoes (by themselves, give me salsa or spaghetti sauce anytime).  Sweets too.  I have another friend who's boyfriend doesn't really like sweets.  He could have one chocolate chip cookie and that would be enough chocolate for him for a month.  I could eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy and still want more.  I don't plan on denying myself sweets or cheese, but I need to learn moderation.
I've got a long road ahead as far as food is concerned.  I don't think that I should try and change every single habit all at once, I'm more likely to fail that way.  If any of you know of any good, healthy recipes please send me a link.